Birthday. Feelings.

Your birthday is near. I wish you we're here. Maybe if your still alive, we are already planning about your upcoming birthday. You, your dad and I. Maybe we will be happy or not. I really don't know. There's so many what if's. I'm imagining things. I can't help myself to be sad baby, and I am sorry for that. I just really miss you. I don't know if I still have feeling for your dad. I care about him and think of him sometimes, maybe i'm just over thinking things already. Could you help me to find what I am feeling for him or should I start loving someone again? Give them a chance to see what's the real me? Can you visit me in my dreams to find out the answers. I really wanted to have a peace of mind. I wanted your dad and I have a closure and to talk about things. I don't want it to be left unsaid. Advance Happy Birthday Baby Jaiden. Mommy will always love you and wait for me on next Sunday. I'll visit you. It's your birthday and your lolo's birthday.